Monday, August 6, 2012

Stuck In A Labeled Box

heeey, fraaaand. happy Monday! how goes it? good? glad to hear it. how am I doing, you ask? oh, you didn't ask? well, too bad I'm still going to tell you. I am doing quite poorly, currently reeling from a full-blown cold (one that never left since I got back from my trip apparently!!1!) andd so please forgive me if the next couple of paragraphs make completely no sense at all. sigh.

I realized a couple days ago that in a few posts back ("Back Under The Sea") I talked about my "S" personality and that I was going to explain it but I never did! oops! I apologize if it confused anyone. thought I'd explain it a bit here.

during the time in SEAsia, our staff leader, Victor, had us take the DISC personality test (I think that's what it's called haha) to help us know each other and ourselves better. it's rather similar to the Myers-Brigg Personality test that I mentioned awhile back. the DISC test basically gives ten to twelve (I forget) statements in which you rate which one you would most likely respond with and then tallies up an overall score with which trait (Dominance, Influencing, Steadiness, or Compliance) scored highest. it also gives you a page of general statements that best describes you. so for example, since I scored highest in my S (which is Steadiness), one of the general statements that described me was "I do not see myself as a leader and sometimes become frustrated when others want me to be one" orr "I am very proud of my ability to maintain an even temperament; that is, I don't get mad easily", both of these which ring true. then there is also a page called "checklist for communicating" in which a person, somebody other than me, can read to better know how to communicate with me (e.g. "be sincere", "ask 'how' questions to discover if she understands your instructions", "allow her time to think" etc.)


it was quite interesting to see these different and unique personality traits in our team members over the course of the month. sometimes, out of the blue, we'd say "oh man he's such a D!" or "wow, that's an S right there...", and if any nosy passer-byers had been listening they'd probably shake their heads in confusion. and while it was good to recognize our different personalities, I've found it quite important to remember about not sticking ourselves with a label and just assuming that's all we can do. I mean, yeah, it's great to know your different traits and how you like to communicate/prefer other people to teach you and how you like to learn and your weaknesses and strengths, but none of it should have to be an excuse for why you can't do anything else.

obviously I wouldn't be saying this if I hadn't done it myself. in fact, I'm guilty all over... because "S" personalities tend to be followers and have shyer personalities, we tend to throw our leadership skills in the backseat. I found this out while teaching the kids overseas. there were usually two teachers in a team and even though I was assigned as the leader twice, I still had tendency/bad habit of standing back whenever the assistant took charge. then afterwards, I'd feel bad for not being more assertive with so-and-so and then blame it all on my "S" personality. "geez", I'd say, "I can't help it. it's just my personality." and while some say things like that can't be helped, I wholeheartedly disagree. there seems to always be something to improve on.

here are the three things I've been forcing myself to do to get out of my I-can't-do-it-I'm-too-shy box:

1. take the initiative. don't just sit back when you know you should be doing something, even if somebody else has offered to do your job. unless you're physically incapable of doing your job, then you should have no excuse for why somebody else is doing it for you. and sometimes even if it's not YOUR job, look for ways to help out that so-and-so might've missed.

2. jump at every opportunity. one upside of being an "S" is that I am often a silent observer and will notice things that other people may not. this provides for many opportunities to speak and give my input when needed but I usually let the opportunity slip by simply because I feel like it's not important enough. I remember on the trip my number one biggest regret came on one of the nights I had combined my team with another and my assistant was teaching what true suffering for a Christ-follower meant. the whole time I kept feeling a prompt from God to add-on to what my assistant was saying and talk about what it meant to find and walk the narrow path, yet I could not find the nerve to speak and so I let it pass and boy, do I regret it now...

3. communicate well. the problem with us "S" people is that because we don't speak up as often we get misunderstood. a lot. I don't usually speak up unless I really have to and even then it's quite reluctantly, but now I'm learning not to wait until a problem arises to say something. it's better to say something and get it straightened out rather than just let it snowball into something out of control.

yeah well, enough about meeee. here's the LINK to the test if you would like to take it. we can swap our results sometime, yeah? ;)

well, I'm off to take some more Pei Pa Koa and get some rest. have a chill week. xoxo.

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