Amazing Grace, How Sweet The Sound!

hey theree! what a trying week it has been for me physically! somehow my body has decided it doesn't like me and has done every crazy thing imaginable (okay, maybe not everything) to make it difficult. thankfully, there's not been so much of pain just a lot of fatigue and sore muscles. of course, all this has lead to a lot of bed rest. the annoying thing about this kind of fatigue is that though you're depleted to the bone, you're not sleepy. there's like a fine line between them both. try as hard as you might, perhaps you may even catch a two-three minute rest but your mind plows on steadily and not even the mere exhaustion can get it to shut down. whew.

the upside though has been all the downtime I've been getting. for some people it's very boring and perhaps a month or two ago I would've thought the same but whatever it is, I've been spending the time going through all the things I've been learning from the past month and just reading into His Word. it's been so eye-opening. the only word I can think of to describe my appetite is well "devouring". God's Word is gold and I can't get enough. funny how I've never saw it that way before. whenever I did my devos, I treated it like another check off my list. it's always sort of been a oh-another-thing-to-do mentality rather than wow-I-get-to-spend-time-with-the-King-of-the-universe. but in some ways, I suppose it makes perfect sense.

they say you can't get found if you've never been lost.

I used to tell myself that listening to worship songs was enough and once in awhile, reading a verse or two that would "pop" out to me, you know. I made the lyrics to worship songs my "verses" but I think it's so important to remember that we stand in Christ alone and nothing else, not even worship songs or devotional books. I find it so easy to feed myself with all sorts of junk. I mean it can be anything from shopping to music to friends to family and even from other regurgitated food and gospel that somebody else has interpreted rather than going into the real thing and finding it for myself. not that there is anything wrong with devotional books and such, but I'm just saying isn't that funny? it's like the gold is right there but we choose to go after the shiny wrapper in the garbage. in all honesty, it doesn't make any sense at all but we're humans, and the truth is, we're each so screwed up and blinded we do things that make absolutely no sense.

I guess what really got me thinking was if all this (friends, family, music, everything I choose to define my life with) was stripped away one day, what would I have left? my little sad answer was well, nothing. I've been a hypocrite, telling others not to waste their life and then wasting all seventeen years of my life because I've built it all on the wrong things. whew. I'm a mess. this week has been an emptying out of my heart and me asking God to fill me with Him and Him alone. this life is fleeting and whatever else we choose to build our life around will disappear one day, but standing in Christ alone, He is the solid rock and cornerstone that will be here to stay.

I'll guess I'll conclude by saying this. the gospel has always amazed me with one thing and that one thing is grace. nothing like that five letter word to give me the chills. I mean the King of the universe still chooses to love us despite our choices? even after we've spit on and despised Him? unbelievable but oh-so amazing grace.


I once was blind, but now?


now I see.