22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. --Romans 8:22-25
Today, I feel the weight of a fallen and broken world. From the wear and tear, the bruises and scrapes, my heart can only take so much. It hurts. It hurts in an indescribably deep gut-wrenching way. And I want it to stop. To go away. I am tired of this world. Tired of what it offers. Tired that everything revolves around the same things. Stop. Enough.
My heart is heavy today because I feel as I've been blind-sided with issues that I've been running away from. And I don't want to deal with it. I want to throw it in farthest corner and pretend it's not there. But it doesn't change the truth nor does it make my predicament any better. Instead, it is festering and only growing larger and uglier by the day. The truth is I feel the hurt and unspeakable damage inflicted from broken relationships and it's suffocating. My heart longs for closure and healing, but I can't move on. At least, not right now. So I'll keep holding onto Jesus to pull me through.
I need holy. I need clean. I long for the day where we will love because we were made to. Where nobody will question your motives because there is no reason for evil intent. Where we can have whole bodies again. Everything about this world makes me cry out for what's pure and good and holy. I long for it.
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