Ugh Ariel, not this again.
Wait, don't leave yet. I've got a story. Just stick with me. I promise it'll be good.
Because the majority of the children which attend our church do not come regularly, I often wonder if I am really making an impact on any of them. I find it incredibly hard to bond with these kids when I only see them once a week (and sometimes even less.) However, I do believe that God gives me a sign every now and then that keeps me going.
There are two little darlings (five and six y/o), which I'll call A and G for my story-telling sake, that I feel I have been slowly understanding. When A and G first started coming, they were very quiet. Both knew very little English and their Chinese dialect was incredibly hard for me to understand. The older one, G, often would defiantly disobey the teacher's requests and refused to apologize for anything she would do. She disliked physical contact, which made it harder for me to engage with her. A, her little sister, was slightly different. She was much shyer and loved to sit on my lap for story time or give a hug before leaving. For the most part, she barely spoke, but when picked on by her more aggressive sister, she had a yell that could make any eardrum bleed. Both also had never been taught basic manners (e.g. "please," "thank you," etc.) and came from a meager background. They lacked a fatherly figure in their lives and had lived with two separate caretakers as toddlers and only been reunited with their mother a few years ago.
Regardless, my mother and I took a liking to the sisters and have been trying to understand the two of them, as well as show them God's grace through our interactions. And honestly, there have been increasingly more changes to their countenance over the past two years. The shouting and yelling have died down and I feel that many barriers have been broken.
Oh yeah, that's great Ariel. Now where's the story?
It's coming. Hang on.
Of course, there are still up and down days. Hit or miss. There are multiple times when they've lashed out at each other or when G refuses to apologize. There are times when they give the cold shoulder. When failures abound, I sulk and continually run the situation over and over in my mind, wondering what I could have done differently. But God's grace is sufficient and He sent me a reminder last week.
Story time.
My dad just bought me a brand spanking new tablet recently and even though, I'm not the most tech-crazy person, I gotta say this thing is smooth. The first week I brought it to church, A and G clambered over me, straining to get a look at the new gadget and begging to play with it. Every fiber in me screamed no as I imagined them scratching the surface of my shiny new screen. But their little eyes pierced straight through my heart.
Darn you, soft spot and darn cute little girls with Bambi eyes and high-pitched voices, I thought. The girls squealed with glee as I downloaded Fruit Ninja and Minion Rush and reluctantly passed my precious gadget over into their grubby hands.
Fast forward, last Sunday, I had my tablet with me again when I saw them approaching. Immediately I thought, "Quick! Put the tablet away!". I figured if I just pulled out my Bible, they would lose interest and just walk away. As I stashed my tablet into my bag, however, I began to realize what a selfish little brat I was being.
The little voice inside me started to nag, "You value some silly tech piece over the precious time you could have with these girls?"
Uhm, uh... er... yes...?
"You ask God for opportunities like this and yet when the moment comes you choose to look away?"
Gosh, darn it.
"Mommy, look! It's Ariel jiejie (older sister)" I heard them whisper as they approached. I flashed them a toothy grin, then swallowing hard, I handed them the tablet and tried not to cringe as they smudged their greasy little fingers all over the screen, slicing at flying watermelon, apples, and oranges and giggling whenever one of them would detonate a bomb.
Afterwards, I put the tablet away and they reverted back to their old little antics, bouncing up and down my lap, pulling my arms every which way; they leaned close to my face as they talked, breaking my highly enforced three-feet talking radius rule (a must for every introvert) with milk breath as they yammered on and on. Every few words, they would giggle at something funny and then continue on as if nothing had ever happened. When G (the older one) paused to catch her breath between her sentence, she slung her arms around my neck for a big bear hug. I couldn't help but giggle with and at them. This was childhood bundled up its purest form. It was like a tall frosty glass of sweet iced tea topped with a slice of lemon. Bittersweet, refreshing, and delicious all in one.
As I held one in my lap and another leaned over my back, one of the ladies from the congregation walked over to where I was sitting. I smiled at her and waved hello, trying to balance G in my lap as she pulled at my arms and I tried not to look like a klutz when suddenly I realized the lady was speaking to me.
It didn't register at first.
She repeated it again, motioning at the girls.
They really like you, you know.
And just like that, God took an ordinary phrase from this lady and turned it into something sweet. You may be thinking that this is the stupidest thing you've ever heard and can't seem to fathom why I find it as a reminder from God. To clarify, it's not the idea that these two little darlings "like me." It's about how far I've come with the two and the process of learning to understand them better. It's about loving them unconditionally and giving out sniffle kisses, big bear hugs, a healthy dose of laughter, and an even bigger dose of forgiveness. But mostly, it's about passing on the all-abundant and all-sufficient love that Christ has shown and continues to show me.
I haven't the faintest clue how long A and G will be in my life, but as far as I'm concerned, I'm going to make the most of it. I'll look at those tiny little finger prints dotted all over my tablet and give it my best shot. No excuses.
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