familia

It's been a while since I've sat down and just talked, eh? I feel like I've just bombarded you all with a handful of pictures from life and left out a lot that's been going on in this noggin of mine. (Or maybe Ariel, that's why there's been so many new viewers lately. People want pictures, not words.)

Huh. Too bad. Cause today, I'm here to talk. Better saddle up. This girl's got lots to say.

Recently, I've been discovering that I have so many lessons yet to be learned in my life. A lot of things that I wished I had learned earlier, but am now only starting to grasp...

I've realized lately that my heart is full when it is happy. And it is most happy when the family is together. Oh snap, this girl's gonna go all psycho-mushy on us. Well, I kid you not. I lie awake in bed at night, listening to the low hum of the A/C; the sound of the keyboard clacking and my brother's inaudible voice in the living room blends into the background. Somebody else is in the bathroom across the hall and the faucet is running behind the closed door. I lie awake, feeling the cool sheet against my skin and soak everything in--the familiar sounds of family that will all too soon be a faint memory. I lie awake as long as I can, because I know too soon I'll forget and strain to hear those sounds.

The older I get it seems, the more I appreciate family and our time spent together. The way I put it, I suppose, gives you the illusion of us all grinning over ice cold Starbucks (Caramel Ribbon Crunch all the way) and talking about everything from shoes to school to life in general. Or perhaps it's the brother and father engaged in some serious talk about politics while the madre and I people-watch (like the creeps we can be), giggling like sisters instead of mother and child, over interesting outfit choices. Not to say this is all false, but when I say spending time together, it usually means the four of us under one roof, each living life in our interconnected bubbles. Happy. Content.

It wasn't always like this, though. I used to despise my folks because I looked at other people's and thought my parents never really fit the mold or measured up to the expectations I had pictured in my mind. My brother wasn't the kind and caring older brother I wanted. I made a big mistake of trying to pretend that we were always perfect together because I never wanted to admit our family was anything but. I tried my hardest to present to the public that we were, indeed, a loving and model family. My favorite thing to hear was other people coming up to my parents and saying, "Wow, your kids are so good together! How did you teach them to get along?"

Whenever there were disagreements in the household, away from the public eye, I would fester anger and bitterness at whoever it was that was breaking this "model" family. A perfect family wasn't supposed to argue and disagree with each other, right?

Wrong. Don't despise your parents if they don't fit the "perfect" dad or mom mold you want them to be. Don't hate your brother or sister because he/she doesn't listen to you or treat you the way you expect them to treat you. It doesn't work like that.

They say marriage is about learning to communicate with each other. They forgot to mention family is all about learning to communicate with each other too. But more than that, family is about learning to forgive, to trust, and to love.

My parents aren't perfect. My brother certainly isn't anywhere near angelic. Why do I love them, anyway?

You thought I was getting mushy before, but here's where it gets real mushy.

I love my dad for being the father that he is. I love him because he loves my mother. I love him because no matter what mood or time I catch him in he's always willing to listen to my pointless and immature rants. I love him because he's always ready to laugh with me on some silly YouTube video. I love him because he's spontaneous enough to buy me a strawberry frosted doughnut with sprinkles (always with sprinkles) whenever I need one. I love him because he's wise enough to tell me that I'm wrong even when I think I've got it all right. I love him because he is the perfect gentleman. I love him because he is humble. I love him because he is my number one fan.

I love my mom because there is no one else in the world who listens and understands me like her. I love her because she respects my father. I love her because she gives and gives. I love her because she knows when I'm having a bad day without me having to say a word. I love her because she's constantly finding different ways to express her love. I love her because she's so selfless with others around her. I love her because despite all the scars and beatings she's taken, she continues to stand with her chin held high. I love her because beneath the petite 5' 1" frame is a woman who has the power, will, and soul to change the world around her.

I love my brother because there is no one else who can make me laugh more than he can. I love him because, out of the blue, he'll persuade me to watch some TV show or movie that I don't feel up for and, of course, end up addicted to. I love him because I can ask him about anything and he'll have a solid answer. I love him because he's a diligent worker and inspires me to be the same. I love him because he never settles for anything less. I love him because of all the inside jokes we share. I love him because he challenges me to think deeper, work harder, and strive for better.

Don't underestimate the power of family. Don't make the mistake of believing that friends suffice as family. Sure, friends can be family, but the ones you're connected to by blood, goodness gracious, you want them on your side. They were put into your life for a reason, and you have a whole lifetime to learn to love them.

I realize now that it's a privilege to have an imperfect family. We bruise and bleed, but we grow together and for that, I am incredibly grateful.

Things like this I wished I had learned sooner in my life, but hey, better late than never, right? Well, now you've got a snippet truckload of what's been going on in this noggin, I'd best be off. Hope you guys are having a swell day. I'll be seeing ya. xo